Today was our second day of nothing but gray skies...perfect for how I felt. This afternoon my mood was of the second to worst combination - worried and tired (the worst would be tired, worried and PMS in case you wondered). My family is dealing with a pretty significant change in a very short period of time.
Back story...my Gdad came to spend the weekend with us during Hurricane Ike. After that, he pretty much decided to stay. He still has his house in Madisonville, and he visits from time to time, but he is staying pretty permanently at Chateau Stewart these days. It's been great getting to know him in a new way and I am thankful to have this time with him in this way. He went home for a visit with my uncle last week (and to do a little gardening). He has been totally different since he got home. My best guess is that something at the house was a trigger - but all of a sudden he is very disoriented and forgetful. He has been talking about seeing people who have been gone for years (my Gmom, his brother, etc). It's so very strange how quickly he seems to have declined. We went through some of this with my mom's parents, but their decline was much more gradual (until my Gdad died and my Gmom declined quickly). As hard as that was, I can see how it prepared us to deal with it again. He went to the doctor today and they are doing some tests. Hopefully it will be something remedied (or improved) with medication adjustments. I'll be praying for that (feel free to join me if you feel inclined - I would really appreciate it).
Anyway, so that's what's been on my mind since last Friday (when he came home). I worry about my dad too because he isn't getting much sleep (my Gdad has started to wander at night). And today he was driving in the rain with less than the ideal amount of sleep. I'm glad to report they both made it home safe and sound, and so far, my Gdad is in bed. Maybe tonight will be the night he makes it through until morning.
With all of that, and because of my recent reflections on my spot, I thought it'd be nice to share photos with you. When I had my driver's permit, my parents would let me drive around the resort where we vacationed (which is conveniently about 5 miles from our current house). In my discovery driven drives (you know I love alliteration), I really developed an appreciation for the peace and quiet that came with these two spots.
The first spot was at the end of a road which dead-ended to a pier which of course ends in the water. They have since built condos around it, so it is a little less serene during vacation season (though still lovely and peaceful this time of year). It's where I would go when I needed quiet back then...and where I have gone since moving when I needed calm. It's where my ex and I first said I love you (puke, I know), and where I often worked through a Bible study last spring.
My second spot is now a park (though still contained within the resort property). Before they put up the sign declaring it's park status, it always felt off the beaten path...though there was a definitive dirt road that led the way. To get to it, you have to wind down several roads, past a few houses and with a turn here and there. It didn't matter that we visited one time per year, after the first finding, the map to "my" spot was burned into my being.
A few years ago they designated it as a park and added a picnic table. When I went today, the picnic table was gone, and there was a huge pile of limbs and debris to the left of the shore. I'm sure the table will be back...but until then, I enjoyed the view, sounds and smells from the comfort of my new favorite flip flops (which are now profoundly muddy!).
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. John 14:27
2 comments:
I love these pictures. I think ten pounds of stress fell from my shoulders, just looking at them.
Hugs to you and your fam. I know all too well how tough it is trying to stay strong and supportive with grandparents who are declining, and parents who are strung out from caring for them. When my dad's parents moved from Tyler to Bryan into a nursing home near us, our lives changed so dramatically. I watched my dad lose too much weight and become hollow and zombie-like from the exhaustion of caring for them every minute of every day. But the thing is -- looking back, I think he would say he's grateful for that time. It didn't last long, but it was probably some of the best quality time any of us had spent with them in our lives.
Hang in there. ;)
We'll definitely keep your family in our prayers. I know how tough that can be: Jimmy's parents went through it all over the last couple of years with his grandparents - they even moved across the country to care for them. It takes a lot of love and compassion to make it through those times.
Beautiful pictures!! I too have my de-stressing place, though it's a bit further away than I'd like. I think everyone needs one!
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