I need to write...

I cannot believe it's been more than a month since my last post. It's not like life has stood still in the last 32 days - quite the opposite in fact. I simply haven't had anything I felt worth sharing - or that wasn't redundant.

I visited the motherland on the 18th for my sister's roommate's birthday, then headed to Austin for her best friend's birthday. We ended up at Pete's Piano Bar - which is always big fun.

The following weekend was spent catching up and visiting with the kiddos. It had been nearly a month since I had seen them all! Which is crazy hard to believe since we live so close. Everyone is so busy though - basketball, cheer and soon to add softball and t-ball to the mix. Whew, I'm worn out thinking about it! But I also love it. I'm especially excited to watch first-year t-ball again. There's nothing like it!

The next weekend was my birthday. I shipped the parents off to Hawaii and spent a lot of time doing laundry and watching trash tv. I treated myself to a massage, but other than that, it was just another Saturday. I used to love my birthday. I would start counting down in January. Now, they are just sad.

But if my birthday was depressed, last weekend was just the Prozac to fix it. It was Woo Girls Spring Fling 2011. We laughed, ate, shopped, laughed, drank a little, talked, ate and laughed some more. It was absolutely fabulous. I'm so grateful to my friend, Kristin, for hosting us in her lovely home. I'm also thankful to her husband for allowing us to invade while he and their daughter vacated. We certainly missed those who could not make it and I am very excited for our get-together scheduled for May.

Either perfect segue or a total non-sequitir...I've struggled a lot with not fitting in. I'm not sure if it comes simply from being a girl. Or from being a tall, big girl, but it's more common for me to feel outside the group than a part of it.

With my Woo Girls, this is so much less the case. Which is sort of odd since superficially, I have less in common with them than they with each other. They are all married. Most have a child (or children). Sure, we share a same high school, some of us share past experiences and more than one of us share a crazy love for shoes. But when we get together, we all just get each other. It's an amazing answered prayer.

By contrast though, I've felt a lot lately that I don't belong in a place where every one is supposed to be welcome. Where anyone can come and receive love and encouragement. I'm really struggling with the lack of all-inclusive fellowship opportunities. It could be my own sensitivities/insecurities, but we have not had an all member fellowship since Thanksgiving. February was dedicated to couples and so far March has been all about families. And I don't qualify for those. My initial reaction was a little angry and bitter. But as I sat last night waiting for a quick meeting to start, I was shocked to find a tear rolling down my cheek. I had not realized how hurt I was to not be included. It was an almost surreal feeling.

Hopefully all of that will get better in the coming months. Maybe my circumstances will change or maybe I will.