Wordless Weds. - Niagara Falls, Canada

Milestones...

Nine years ago today, I walked across the stage to receive my diploma. Only, of course I did not receive my diploma. I received a pleather folder with a paper notifying me of when I could expect to receive my actual degree in the mail.

I walked across that stage, praying I would not trip, feeling full of the future's promise and possibility. I smiled and shook my dean's hand, posed for the gratuitous pictures (that never turns out good enough to buy) and made my way back to my seat. Where I sat for the next two hours struggling with whether to break the rules and leave or do as I was told and sit through the remaining ceremony. Obviously, I followed the rules. No surprises there.

I just knew as I walked out of Johnson Coliseum that this great big world was waiting for me to make a difference. Graduating was the first of several milestones I expected in the next few years. I was going to get a fabulous job, meet a fantastic man, have a dream wedding, buy a house and raise our kids & dog in a family friendly town. We'd be members in a local church, volunteer our time in various ways and live the white picket dream.

I can check "fabulous job" and "church member" off the list. Maybe in the next 9 years, I can check another one or two off.

A girl can dream, right?

Content

This past Sunday, my class discussed being respectful (our whole unit is on relationships - in the broad sense of human interaction, not the mroe narrow significant other sense - thank goodness, otherwise I would have had to skip more than just the marriage Sunday, but I digress - don't I always digress?). We read from Epehesians 6:1-9 which talks about respect from child to parent, parent to child, slave to master and master to slave.

The slave/master section was equated to modern day employer/employee relations. In that, the question was posed, "how important is work to you?" Several answered along the lines that it was a means to pay the bills and take care of the necessities of life, but not something that identified them. I answered that it was probably more important to me than it was to most because I feel like it identifies me. Of course I don't think people see me and immediately think - there goes an HR chick - but it's a label that's mine. So I value it. For someone who doesn't have a spouse and kids, work is important to me. I'm not sure my point translated well - because several have checked in with me this week to make sure I was okay. And while it makes me very sad not to have those things (especially this time of year - can we outlaw the Kajazahelz commercials already? They are nothing but trouble - depressing singles and getting husbands/S.O.s in trouble who don't shop there!), life is what it is. And at present and the way-to-forseeable future, my labels don't include wife and mom.

Does it mean my values are off to say that my job is important to me? I don't think so. Do I realize I'm more than my job? Sure. I get that I'm a daughter, sibling, aunt, friend, etc...but I'm those things to multiple people and those people have multiples of those things. My parents have three kids, my brother/sister have two siblings, my niece/nephews have three aunts and my friends have other friends. But my job, isn't shared with anyone else, so that's a title that belongs to me. Does any of that make sense?

The discussion then went to being content. One person said there are probably 2-3 months in the year in which he is completely content with all aspects of his life - wife, kids, job, etc. Which has led me to wonder - how do you define content? I know what the dictionary says and I know the Bible tells us to be content with what we have (1 Timothy 6:8). So how do you do that? How do you not think "this can't be all there is to life?" And is it wrong to want more?

Proud

To be an Army granddaughter/Navy daughter...

Taps - Papa from Summer Stewart on Vimeo.

This is from my grandfather's funeral in May 2009. He served in WWII and had full military burial with taps and all. I thought you taps played in the background, but it doesn't. I must not have recorded it. I'm also not sure why I cut the video when I did - they presented the flag to my uncle, his oldest son, since my grandmother had already passed away.

My dad and his siblings considered not doing the full military burial, but I'm so glad they did. It's the first time I've witnessed it and to say it is moving is an understatement (and likely why the video cuts when it did).

Thank you to all who served and continue to do so.

*I realize this is a few hours late...I had no idea it would take 6 hours for my video to load...mea culpa*

Read today...

Our office gets a lot of solicitation magazines - you know the ones that sell random stuff? Well, in Potpourri they have a print with the following words:

"Life is not a race - but indeed a journey. Be honest. Work hard. Be choosy. Say 'thank you,' 'I love you,' and 'great job' to someone each day. Go to church, take time for prayer. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh. Let your handshake mean more than pan and paper. Love your life and what you've been given, it is not accidental - search for your purpose and do it as best you can. Dreaming does matter. It allows you to become what you aspire to be. Laugh often. Appreciate the little things in life and enjoy them. Some of the best things really are free. Do not worry, less wrinkles are more becoming. Forgive, it freese the soul. Take time for yourself - plan for longevity. Recognize the special people you've been blessed to know. Live for today, enjoy the moment." Bonnie Mohr

Today, the words struck me.

*Edit - I realized last night as I lay my head on the pillow that I didn't credit the quote - mea culpa...

Hot Topics of Late...

In the last week, there have been several interesting discussions around me and involving me. Or at least, interesting to me, and have made me want to write. They are...

1. Bullying

There have been lots of stories/reports/articles about bullying of late. When I got home one evening, I walked into this story. The video is compelling and worth a look if you have a chance. It's a Ft Worth City Councilmember speaking directly to kids who have been bullied. He lets them know that it gets better and his message should be heard.

My only hesitation with this is why they feel the need to focus solely on bullying as it relates to sexual orientation. I'm afraid by doing so they likely turn off some potential supporters who shut down over anything dealing with homosexuality. Additionally, I believe it ignores the "whole" of the issue. How about instead of focusing on one sector to stop being harrassed, we promote not harrassing people at all? Why is it worse to victimize someone for their sexual preferences than say someone who is overweight? Underweight? Freckled? Poor? Different race/religion/national origin/etc.

Secondly, the campaign needs to focus not only on bullying in schools and on the web as it relates to teens and kids, but also as it relates to adults. I've seen adults pick on other adults and in my opinion, that's worse because they really should know how to act better. I've been picked on several times in my life - for a variety of reasons - and have admittedly done some picking. There was a time (most of middle school) where it felt like it was survival of the fittest. And the only way to feel better about being the fat-four-eyed kid with few friends was to find someone else to make feel worse. I'm certainly not proud of it and would take it back if I could. Even as an adult, we've made jokes at another's expense. How is that better?

If we want to change how kids interact, we have to change how we interact as well.

2. Our local news station does a controversial question of the day. Last week's question was "should a gay man be allowed to lead a boy scout troup?"

When asked, my response was, if they can abide by the rules and lead well, then what business is it of mine who they go home to. Now, I don't have kids and maybe that would change my feelings. Though, I don't think they would. I'm not going to be the next advocate for gay rights and I believe their actions are wrong, but it doesn't make them worse than any of the rest of us sinners (and we're all sinners). Are they going to deny a man to be a leader who cheated on his wife? The sin is the same. Just because a man is gay does not make him a pedophile. And not every pedophile is gay.

I think there are lots of men (and women) who can teach the character building skills Boy Scouts instills in it's members who may not have home situations we'd want modeled. How often does one really know what goes on there anyway?

I'm not trying to stir up any sort of controversy - just lay out some thoughts. I look forward to any feedback - whether agreeing or disagreeing. I think there are lots of life experiences to consider and it will be interesting to see what anyone else thinks.

My 50th Post...

I should probably be doing something more fun for my 50th post (although 50 is not so impressive in the blogger groups I associate with - you girls post circles around me), but well, it's my blog, so my rules.

What are your thoughts on pet names? And I don't mean pets like the four legged, finned, or God-forbid slither variety. I mean pet names for other people.

When I was younger - especially in my previous job in the oil & gas industry - it was not uncommon for vendors to call me sweetie. Unless the tone was condescending, it didn't bother me too much from the men because most were old enough to be my dad. From some of the women, I was less than thrilled, but not offended. It happens a lot less now, but it rarely bothers me.

But as for my usage of them - eh, that's where I get weird (or perfectly normal - I'll judge by the feedback!).

When it comes to my niece and nephews, I'll throw out a "baby," "punkin'," or "sweetie" and not think twice about it. With some friends, I can easily use a sympathetic bless-your-heart style "oh, honey", or a version a little more feisty - as in, "honey, don't get me started" without a second thought.

So I ask you, ever faithful audience - am I a weirdo about this pet name stuff?